Seeking

Concern about finances has been a struggle for me since my dad first left my mom as a kid.  I worried often for my mother who was working three jobs and how we were going to make it.  Whenever we went to a restaurant I would find the cheapest thing on the menu and order it.  It was not until my late 20's that I was able to purchase the non-cheapest menu item.

Fast forward some years later.  Being in international ministry has meant living a life of trusting the Lord and in income level that is beyond comprehension to any ordinary person.  A meeting with the financial advisor this week was laughable.  I just ended up praying for her instead.

But it is also a concern for me and I wish it weren't.  Lately that concern has reared its ugly head yet again.  A lot of present and future unknowns and I find myself grinding to find ways for income.  I've looked into so many things I've thought of writing a blog just on what hasn't worked well.  Have I made an income?  Nope.  Yet there's burden inside that keeps pushing and driving forward.  But it has significantly reduced my time with the Lord.  Signficantly.

This morning I open my Bible and read this:

"Choose my instruction instead of silver,
knowledge rather than choice gold,
for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
and nothing you desire can compare with her."

Prov 8:10-11

'Nuff said.